Protecting Your Marriage - What Does the Bible and EGW Say?

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By Nikki Yankee, MS LMFT 

The Origin

An insightful book based on the Biblical principal that men are instructed to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. A must read for every couple!

Marriage is a divine institution established by God Himself before the fall when everything, including marriage, was “very good.” (Gen. 1:31). “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). “God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. ‘Marriage is honorable’; it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise.”— The Adventist Home, pp. 25, 26.

The Oneness 

God intended the marriage of Adam and Eve to be the pattern for all future marriages, and Christ endorsed this original concept saying: “Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:4-6).

The Permanence 

Marriage is a lifelong commitment of husband and wife to each other and between the couple and God (Mark 10:2-9; Rom. 7:2). Paul indicates that the commitment which Christ has for the church is a model of the relationship between husband and wife (Eph. 5:31, 32). God intended the marriage relationship to be as permanent as Christ’s relationship with the church.

Sexual Intimacy 

Sexual intimacy within marriage is a sacred gift from God to the human family. It is an integral part of marriage, reserved for marriage only (Gen. 2:24; Prov. 5:5-20). Such intimacy, designed to be shared exclusively between husband and wife, promotes ever-increasing closeness, happiness, and security, and provides for the perpetuation of the human race. In addition to being monogamous, marriage, as instituted by God, is a heterosexual relationship (Matt. 19:4, 5).

Partnership  

Unity in marriage is achieved by mutual respect and love. No one is superior (Eph. 5:21-28). “Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other.”— Testimonies, vol. 7, p. 46. God’s Word condemns violence in personal relationships (Gen. 6:11, 13; Ps. 11:5; Isa. 58:4, 5; Rom. 13:10; Gal. 5:19-21). It is the spirit of Christ to love and accept, to seek to affirm and build others up, rather than to abuse or demean them (Rom. 12:10; 14:19; Eph. 4:26; 5:28, 29; Col. 3:8-14; 1 Thess. 5:11). There is no room among Christ’s followers for tyrannical control and the abuse of power (Matt. 20:25-28; Eph. 6:4). Violence in the setting of marriage and family is abhorrent (see Adventist Home, p. 343).“Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership. The Lord has laid down the principle that is to guide in this matter. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined never to grieve or injure the other.”— Testimonies, vol. 7, p. 47.
 

The Effects of the Fall 

The entrance of sin adversely affected marriage. When Adam and Eve sinned, they lost the oneness which they had known with God and with one another (Gen. 3:6-24). Their relationship became marked with guilt, shame, blame, and pain. As a part of the curse of sin, rulership was given to the husband (Gen. 3:16; see also Patriarchs and Prophets, pp. 58, 59). Wherever sin reigns, its sad effects on marriage include alienation, desertion, unfaithfulness, neglect, abuse, violence, separation, divorce, domination of one partner by the other, and sexual perversion. Marriages involving more than one spouse are also an expression of the effects of sin on the institution of marriage. Such marriages, although practiced in Old Testament times, are not in harmony with the divine design. God’s plan for marriage requires His people to transcend the mores of popular culture which are in conflict with the biblical view.
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What are Ways to Protect Your Marriage?

  1. Spend Time with God
  2. Safeguard relationships of the opposite sex
  3. Establish boundaries in the workplace
  4. Dress modestly
  5. Guard your eyes and ears
  6. Avoid dangerous pitfalls
    1. Online Relationships
    2. Private meetings
    3. Extracurricular activities
  7. Spend time with your spouse
    1. Make them your top priority
    2. Affirm, listen, and seek to meet his or her needs
  8. Be accountable

The Benefits of Water - Give Us Living Water

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By DeLois Weeks, RN, PhD

“Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.”
— John 4:10 KJV

Water is vital to life and health. Our bodies are 55% to 78% water depending on body size. Approximately two-thirds of the body consists of water. The tissues and organs are primarily made up of water:

  • Muscle 75% water
  • Brain 90% water
  • Bone 22% water
  • Blood 83% water

Every cell in the body needs water.  For example, the brain cannot function well without sufficient water and without it, you will get headaches or migraines. Fatigue and headache may be signs of dehydration.

Harmful effects and symptoms of Dehydration:

  • Dark yellow or orange urine: Urine is typically pale yellow to clear
  • Dry skin: skin is the largest body organ and requires water
  • Hunger: Most people mistake hunger for the indication to eat more when it may be an indication of dehydration 

More Benefits of Water:

  • Regulates body temperature, and increases energy and fuel used by muscles during exercise
  • Aids digestion by raising metabolism
  •  Works synergistically with fiber to facilitate peristalsis and relieve constipation
  • Lubricates joint and muscle helping to relieve cramps and strains
  • Helps fight cold, flu and other ailments like kidney stones and heart attack
  • Relieves fatigue by helping to flush toxins and waste products 
  • Lifts mood because when the body is well hydrated, you feel happy
  • Reduces the risk of bladder and colon cancer by diluting the concentration of cancer-causing agents in the urine and shortening the time they are in contact with bladder lining
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; …therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
— Isaiah 12:2-3 KJV

How Should Christians Handle Suffering (Not Just Sin)? - Jesus' Story Has the Answer

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By Lindsey Gendke

Suffering surrounds us. Whether we walk in the church or walk in the world, we are all familiar with problems like divorce, death, disease, depression, abuse, addiction, affairs, and more.

My own story of suffering began with a broken family at fourteen, followed by depression, suicide attempts, and a ten-year climb back to recovery. But I grew up in a Christian family. I went to church. I knew about Jesus and how he had died on the cross to “set me free.” So what went wrong? Why wasn’t the gospel (or the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection) enough to shepherd me out of those years of darkness?*

A few years back, I attended a week of prayer in my former, Texas church, and the speaker, Paul Coneff, nailed my questions head-on. For the first time, I found the gospel story relevant to my story, and I wanted to know more. So I took Paul’s three-month prayer and discipleship training,** and then I helped him write his message into a book called The Hidden Half of the Gospel: How His Suffering Can Heal Yours.

Jesus Didn’t Just Die for Our Sins . . . He also Died for Our Suffering

As I helped Paul explain in our book, many Christians are “saved, but not free” because we have overlooked the most relatable parts of Jesus’ story. We have overlooked his suffering—his abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and other unfair treatment. But Jesus repeatedly said He must do three things to complete His mission: He must suffer, be killed, and be resurrected. Hebrews adds that Jesus suffered to identify with us in every way and to help us when we suffer and are tempted. (Luke 9:22; see also Isa. 53; Luke 22:15; 24:24-27, 44-46; Acts 3:18-24; 17:2, 3; 26:22, 23; Heb. 2:10, 17, 18; emphasis added).

Indeed, it is this personal identification that allows Jesus the right to comfort and heal us, not just for the future (heaven), but also for the here and now.

What do we mean by personal identification with Christ? Consider how the following individuals, featured in our book, connected their stories with Jesus’ story, leading to healing, freedom, and ministry.  

Real Stories, Real Hope

Betrayal

First, consider Amber. Amber was betrayed by her husband while pregnant with their second child. Because of John’s affair with another woman in their church, she ended up separated from him before and after their daughter’s birth. When Paul shared his three-step prayer process,** she connected with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, because Jesus was also left alone, abandoned, and betrayed at a critical time in his life.

Abuse

Then there were Diana, Sandy, and Anna. All three were abused as children (verbally, physically, and/or sexually), and this led all three to problems in adulthood. Diana lived with fear, anxiety, diarrhea, and panic attacks. Sandy stayed in an abusive marriage for seventeen years. Anna grew to hate men, even becoming afraid of her adult sons, and suffered depression with oppression for years. All three women discovered a Jesus who suffered the humiliation of abuse as He was stripped naked, mocked, taunted, and beaten with whips.

Rejection and Addiction

John (Amber’s husband), Rick, and Keith, all felt rejected and unimportant in their childhoods, which led to numbing their pain with extra-marital affairs for John, pornography for Rick, and drugs for Keith. But when they received prayer, all three men were able to identify with a Jesus who felt rejected by His Father, and who hung on the cross thirsty for relief, but who said no to temptation. All identified with a Jesus who “became sin” on the cross (2 Cor. 5:21).

Abandonment and Depression

And then there was me. As I took Paul’s training and helped write his book, my story became the last one we added (chapters 5, 6, and 7), because I couldn’t help but be changed by a God who had suffered in every way I had. (See bottom of this article for more on my story).

How Can You Relate to Jesus?

Can you see how Jesus identifies with you? Do any of his experiences sound familiar to yours?

  • Abandoned by those closest to Him in His time of need
  • Struggling to surrender His will to His Father
  • Betrayed, denied, and lied about by close friends (Luke 22:47-48, 54-62)
  • Stripped naked (Matthew 27:27-28)
  • Physically violated (Matthew 27:29-31)
  • Shamed and humiliated 
  • Mocked, spit on, blamed
  • The object of racial, religious, and political prejudice by men in power over Him who should have been protecting Him
  • Tempted to numb His pain
  • Tempted to believe His situation was hopeless and useless
  • Cried out to His Father, “Why have You forsaken Me?” in His deepest, darkest moments on the cross
  • Not seen, heard, valued, understood, appreciated, or respected
  • Not safe
  • Unjustly accused, convicted, and murdered.

If you would like to make Jesus’ story personal today—and if you would like his story of victory over darkness to become your story—you can begin by praying the sample prayer below. And of course, you can read more, and find more sample prayers, in our book, The Hidden Half of the Gospel.***

Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You for choosing to fulfill prophecy, going through the same experiences I have (fill in where Jesus identifies with you): 

Thank You for suffering in Your soul, dying for me, taking to death all the ways I’ve been wounded in life, and the ways I’ve trusted in my own strength to provide for myself, to protect myself, and to prove who I am. Thank You for healing my wounded heart and setting me free from (add your own personal struggles): _______ as I receive my truest, deepest identity as (Your son or Your daughter) through Your resurrection power, In Your name Jesus, Amen.

 

*Read my blog at www.lindseygendke.com.

**For more information on The Hidden Half of the Gospel, or to order the book, visit www.hiddenhalf.org. You can also purchase the Kindle edition at amazon.com.

***For more information on Paul Coneff’s prayer and discipleship ministry, visit www.straight2theheart.com.

 

Virgil Needs Our Help

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Dear Church Family,


We need to pull together for Virgil and Angela.  

Virgil Franklin is still battling cancer.  He recently went back to the hospital.  In the mean time the rent on their apartment has been raised and they can't afford the increase.  They have to vacate by the end of July (basically, now).  They have spent this last week packing things up
to be able to move.

The bigger issue is with their bills and Virgil being unable to work their bills have piled up and they are unable to rent a new place because they are behind.  Angela has a job lined up that she'll be starting this week, but that means a paycheck won't be coming for 2-3
weeks.  So the need is now.  Today.

We need to raise $1,000 right away.  That's 50 of us - which is almost everyone reading this email to donate $20.  Here's the link.  

Next we need to get this couple on their feet.  We need enough of you  to pledge to give monthly to raise $500 a month for 2 months.  If you can spare $5, $10, $20 or even $50 we'll easily get this done.

If there are people willing to offer financial help just for 2-3 months,  giving some each month Virgil and Angela could bridge that time until they could get up and going.  They are currently reaching out to government agencies for help, but our church should be able to do as much or more for our own church family, don't you think?

They have a goFundMe set up already and everybody thinks somebody else is helping.  We are hoping to find enough people who could help for 2 months.  But any donation really can help.

Here's what to do:
- use the GoFundMe page to donate $20 right away - just click that link
- send an email to stlcentral@gmail.com telling us of your future pledge, and 
  we'll remind you with follow up emails when it's time again to donate to meet
  your pledge
- we'll keep you informed as to the progress of this effort so that we don't loose
  focus on this

Let's pull together to help. 

Thank you! 

God bless.

Sanctuary Renewal Project

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The Sanctuary Renewal Project is underway. The goal for the project is to raise $11,000 before the work begins. Funds received to date: $2,890. See the display in narthex tracking the progress. Each pew represents $550. Thank you for your prayers and contributions as we proceed to renew the beauty of our sanctuary, which is a reflection of the inner beauty of each member. 

Sanctuary Renewal Project

Castlewood "Picnic in the Park"

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What a wonderful turnout today at West County Church's second 'Picnic in the Park'! After church, we met at Castlewood Park for fun, food, and fellowship together. It was a gorgeous day! Here are some of the pictures from this exciting event! 


An Opportunity to Witness

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By Ron Clark

This past weekend we had the privilege of being with the Pathfinder group from the Academy on their campout. These are mostly 17 to 21 or so year old 'Academy' Students who have been introduced to and have voluntarily joined Pathfinders. We stayed on a compound which was our camp ground, and had an experience with one of the workers there that I just heard, "The Rest of the Story" about yesterday when I was back on the Nile Union Academy (NUA)Campus. Here is the experience:

I encountered Edmond,  a 26 year-old Christian - possibly Orthodox, Coptic, or Evangelical. He spoke practically no English, and my Arabic was no match! He asked one of the staff members, a 25 year-old young lady named, Mary, who works in the office at the Academy, and who also joined Pathfinders, to translate some questions that he had for me.

His question had to do with the Sabbath. "Where in the Injeel (the Arabic New Testament) does it talk about the Sabbath? I have never heard about this idea of the 7th day Sabbath." So, we talked. He listened. Mary translated. We knew it was a divine appointment but the number of distractions that came up and nearly broke up this moment we were having confirmed that reality even more so!

When we finished quoting the various scriptures it was obvious that Edmond was seriously interested in this question. So, he asked if I would be willing to write down the Biblical references that had been cited during our discussion time. Mary, who translated his request, volunteered to translate those written text references into Arabic if I would write them down in English. This was all transpiring last Sabbath afternoon. I prayed asking the Lord to help me reconstruct the scriptural recounting according to the best way for Edmond to have the Truth reinforced, and to not give him "too much" of an answer! (one of my many faults, like now!)

Eventually, the writing and the translation were completed and the copy given to Edmond. Mary wanted to keep the English copy. We had another very meaningful conversation before the weekend concluded and we left.

Yesterday, when I was at the NUA Campus, Mary told me that Edmond had called by phone to tell her that he had looked up all the texts that we had given him and that he was resolved to keep the 7th day Sabbath. He already has been studying with his sister. There is no Adventist presence or Church near the place where he lives and works, but he is resolved to share this truth with his friends, and hopes to have a small group joining him in the worship of our loving Creator and Redeemer on His Holy 7th day Sabbath every week, soon! Truly what Jesus said, and what Peter told Cornelius are so true! John 10:16 Acts 10:34,35

The Healing Power of Laughter: Laugh Your Way to Better Health

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By DeLois Weeks, RN PhD

Why is Laughter so Good for the Body?

  • Helps Treat Insomnia
  • Improves Health
  • Improves Immunity
  • Boosts Memory
  • Enhances Creativity & Problem Solving Skills
  • Helps Teat Depression & Anxiety

Psalm 16:8-11 (ESV) “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” 

Laugher is Strong Medicine for the Mind and Body

“A sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools to make certain that our daily mood and emotional state support good health.”
— Paul E. McGhee, PhD

There’s an old adage that says: “laughter is the best medicine”

Laughing Has Wide Ranging Health Benefits

  • Laughter Relaxes the Whole Body
  •  A hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress leaving muscles relaxed for about 45 minutes
  • Laughter Boosts the Immune System by:
  • Decreasing stress hormones, increasing immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, which improves resistance to disease
  • Laughter Triggers Release of Endorphins
  • Endorphins (natural feel-good chemical) promote overall sense of well-being and can temporarily relieve pain 
  • Laughter protects the heart by improving the function of blood vessels and increasing blood flow, which helps protect against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems  

Mental Benefits of Laughter 

  • Research has shown that intentionally producing smiles and laughter moves brain activity towards spontaneous happiness
  • We can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when we’re laughing 
  • Laughter Improves our ability to relax and recharge
  • Increases energy, helps us stay focused and accomplish more during your day 
  • Humor Shifts Perspective
  • Enables us to see situations more realistically--less threatening light
  • A humorous perspective helps avoid feeling overwhelmed 
  • Lifts burdens, inspires hope
  • Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring mind and body back into balance than a good laugh
  • With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for overcoming problems, enhancing relationships, and supporting physical and emotional health 

 

Ways to Start Laughing More

  • Move toward laughter
  • Routinely find the when you hear it humor in everyday
  • Laughter is more events beneficial when shared because it gives opportunity to laugh more
  • Bring humor into conversations 
  • Spend time with fun, playful people who laugh easily
  • Learn to laugh at yourself and at life’s absurdities 
  • Routinely find the humor in everyday events
  • Think of the funniest thing that happened to you and laugh
  • Smile—smiling is the beginning of laughter— like laughter it’s contagious
  • Pioneers in “laugh therapy,” find it’s possible to laugh without even experiencing a funny event
  • When you look at someone or see something even mildly pleasing, practice smiling
  • Count your blessings—literally make a list
  • The simple act of considering the good things
  • in our lives will distance us from negative thoughts that are a barrier to humor and laughter
  • When we’re in a state of sadness, we have further to travel to get to humor and laughter!

Laughter is a Survival Tool 

“It helps us de-stress, lear, cope, transcend, recharge, renew, hope, optimize, enjoy, create, meditate, digest, exercise, connect, engage, energize, oxygenate, release, persist, and preserve. ”
— Christa Scalies

Mother's Day - Mothers of the Bible

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By Leslie Olin

Hagar was a woman who was a pawn in many ways. She went from being a slave, to the mother of the son everyone thought would be Abraham’s heir, to being a single mother cast out of her home with no means of support.  Reading her story we feel her desperation as she sat weeping, a bowshot away, the Bible says, from Ishmael who she thought would die from her inability to provide for him.  But God was with her and gave her all that she needed to raise her son.  The Bible says “God was with the boy as he grew up.”  God cares about single mothers.

Jochebed was a mother whose child was born in a crisis situation.  She was creative and courageous in saving his life.  She had only 12 years to teach and train Moses in the ways of God, and yet those 12 years had a lifelong influence on her son.  The Bible says that Moses chose to suffer with the people of God rather than be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.  God is with mothers who face crisis and honors their efforts to raise godly children.

Eunice was a mother who raised her son in a spiritually divided home.  The Bible says that she was a believer, but his father was a Greek implying that he wasn’t a Christian. Timothy was an effective worker in the early Christian church from a young age.  God cares about mothers who are the sole spiritual leader in their homes and comes along beside them to raise workers for His kingdom.

Bathsheba is often remembered only for her part in David’s great sin.  It is very likely that she was also a pawn in the events of her life.  Attracting the attention of the king of Israel was the beginning of a painful chapter in her life.  It says a lot about Bathsheba though when we read about the humble, devoted spirit of Solomon early in his reign as the king of Israel.  Of all of David’s sons, Solomon had a heart to serve God.  God can redeem terrible situations that mothers find themselves in and save their children.

Ruth didn’t grow up as a believer, but became a devoted follower of God, leaving her family and friends and finding her place in the lineage of Jesus as the mother of Obed.  She may have felt inadequate at times to raise her child to know God since she herself did not have the advantage of growing up in a home where the true God was honored, but God gave her the wisdom that she needed.  God provides guidance for all mothers however great or small their knowledge of Him. 

Rahab is an amazing story of a mother who with a single good decision changed the course of her family.  We first find her living as a prostitute in the city of Jericho, saving the lives of the Israelite spies, requesting protection for her family when the city was destroyed.  The next place we find her in scripture is in the genealogy of Jesus as the mother (or grandmother) of Boaz.  Rahab is a wonderful example of how a mother can change her family’s story, how her decisions can shape generations after her.

Hannah was a woman who struggled with the pain of infertility.  She is also the first mother in the Bible to give us the example of dedicating her child to God, for her quite literally as she left him at the temple with priest Eli.  God understands the pain of women who find themselves unable to conceive.  He honors our hearts desire to dedicate our children back to Him.

Leah was a mother who experienced a deeply troubled marriage,  You can hear her heart in the names of her sons. Her pain is reflected poignantly in their names.  Her firstborn, Reuben, she named saying, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”  When her next son came along, we hear the pain still, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon. Yet again her third son’s name reflects her deep pain, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi. Finally with her 4th son we find her in a more positive place, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah.  God understands the struggles of mothers whose marriages are not ideal.

Eve was a mother who understood the pain of having a child turn away; the incomprehensible pain of having one child murder another.  Yet she didn’t give up and later gave birth to Seth who was a God fearing man.  God created a perfect human race and we’ve all turned away.  He understands the pain of a mother’s heart when despite her best efforts her child turns away from God’s way.  He promises to never stop seeking those children.

Sarah was a mother who never expected to be a mother, but we find her in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11.  The name Isaac literally means laughter.  Imagine the joy she and Abraham must have felt when the promised son was born.  God rejoices with mothers in their joy at the birth of their children.

Elisabeth was another mother who never expected to be a mother.  And yet she too had an amazing influence on her son, John the Baptist.  He preached unceasingly, calling men and women to repentance and at the end of his life, unfairly imprisoned, hearing the news of the great popularity of Jesus, told his own disciples “he (Jesus) must become greater and greater, but I must become less and less.”  What an amazing power a mother has to shape the character of her children!

These mothers found themselves in many different situations and God was with all of them.  He loved them and he loved their children. He understands the challenges of mothers.  Motherhood expands a women’s  heart in ways she never thought possible and is the most challenging job she will ever have.  The power of her influence is as far reaching as eternity.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life.”

Happy Mother’s Day moms!  May our prayers always cling to our children as well!

Clarks in Egypt

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Many of you know Ron (brother to Brian Clark) and Teresa Clark, former members of West County Church. Both of their children attended Westwood school and were baptized during the time they lived in St. Louis. They have recently accepted a call to Egypt to serve for two years in the Literature Evangelism program in Cairo. Please keep them in your prayers!

For those interested, Teresa has started a blog about their experiences abroad. You may read the entries here, or visit their own blog, Life in Egypt.

Time is flying by and we are frantically trying to get everything taken care of before we depart for Egypt. It has been quite a task to sort through our belongings to decide what to do with everything and where and how to store what we aren't taking, and then to figure out what to take. We are still in the process of all that. I keep pushing back the emotions and not really dealing with that right now, when I can keep from it. The thoughts of being so far away from family is playing really heavy on my heart. But God is so gracious and has been showing us His will in such a marked way, it is a constant reminder that we need to keep surrendering our "all" to Him. Please keep us in your prayers. We pray for you every day!